Comfort Zones And Fear. Its all about perspective.

Comfort Zones And Fear. Forget Your Comfort Zone. It’s all about perspective. That’s the title of this blog. It might not necessarily be about Remote Jobs At Home. But it’s a perspective that might be playing into why you haven’t made the leap. I posted this on the social media platforms a while back.

We become harmonious with our environment.

The misconception is that harmony is always a positive thing. But harmony takes no judgment of negatives or positives. We must create positive environments to maintain our positivity. In times like these, we tend to unconsciously get into harmony with outlet surroundings.

The type of people that are in our surroundings. The kind of energy that we get from the kind of food that we eat and the liquids that we drink. We get into this place of harmony. And as I stated in the above text, that isn’t always a positive thing.

Sometimes we can get caught up in the uncertainty and the free fall that the world seems to be in. Or we can make more of a conscious effort to align ourselves with the kinds of energy that we want in our lives.

I recently have been connecting with some amazing human beings that are so full of life and are curiously craving the things that, from my perspective, shatter the norm. Coming to this place of recognition, that the magic happens outside of our comfort zones.

The magic happens outside of our comfort zones

One of these individuals messaged me. And asked me some questions. I won’t claim to be the authority on the matter. But I have been creating a life for the last few years that I never imagined was even possible. So it is so incredible to have someone reach out to me to ask me about my thoughts and experience. Here is their message.

“Can I ask you a question? 

I’m feeling pulled so many directions, lots of positive energy but I still get these moments of overwhelming loneliness. I think it’s just me pulling away from my comfort zone, I’m wondering if there was anything that you found helpful in the beginning of your journey? Or now if you battle with the fear of uncertainty? How to become my own cheerleader!? Lol Thanks again for sharing your life, its inspiring.”

This was my answer.

I am going to more or less answer this message, in a public setting, because hopefully, it may help more than just this amazing new friend.

So firstly, I want to speak of the overwhelming moments of loneliness. I absolutely can relate to this. Constantly trying to break me open to new possibilities and new ways of growth, oftentimes means that some of our friends, that have played an important part in our lives, might not be on the same path as we are.

That in itself can, to some extent, contribute to the feeling of loneliness. And then second-guessing our decision because feeling the discomfort of loneliness can be quite heavy at times.

I heard a while back something along the lines of “God allows for bridges to be burned that God doesn’t want you to ever cross again.” Personally, I am not at all a religious person, and with my spiritual beliefs, I would make some adjustments to this statement and it would be just as appropriate and terrifyingly liberating.

The pain of loneliness is by far more worthwhile than the pain of not reaching for our potential. The pain of the latter is slow, it sneaks up on you, and before you even know it there isn’t any more time.

To speak to Comfort Zones.

Are you familiar with lobsters? They cannot grow larger than the shells they have. If they want to grow to that point, where they cannot grow any larger than their shell, then go to the doc and say “Hey Doc, I’m experiencing some discomfort. My shell is too small. What can you do for me?”

The Doc, of course, would say “Well let’s get you a script for Xanax” and that lobster would never ever grow beyond that shell. Or that same lobster could be aware that if they just shed its shell it would naturally grow a new and larger shell. Giving themselves the opportunity to continue to grow. And repeat that growth cycle over and over.

But wait wait if they shed their shell wouldn’t they be vulnerable?

Yes. Absolutely. They would have to go to a safe place. (We might even feel a bit lonely in this safe place.) That lobster might have one or two other lobsters going through the metamorphosis at the same time. Maybe not.

The same might be true for us in our times of growth. Giving ourselves the opportunity to be vulnerable with a close few, safe and protected, and sometimes even a little lonely, so so worth growing through what we go through. And you know it’s interesting that we use the word lonely.

It is the only word in the English language that describes feeling alone. But it’s not an empowering word. We can learn to appreciate and be grateful for our solitude. To me, that feels much more empowering.

Now to speak to the Fear of uncertainty and becoming our own cheerleader!

I love me some acronyms. Forget Everything And Run or Face Everything And Rise. I also really like False Evidence Appearing Real.

The brain is super tricky. Striving for certainty seems very natural, rational, and logical. But, in my opinion, it’s not realistic. I have a friend who really likes to say “Marry the habits. Divorce the results.” I really like to say “Feel the fear. Do it anyway.” I have another friend that likes to say “Be stubborn about your goals. But be flexible about your methods.”

I am honestly not sure if I want fear to disappear. It keeps things interesting. It helps create momentum. It keeps me from becoming stagnant. So I say embrace the pain, the fear, the loneliness, all of it. We get to create the lives that we want. We are writing the story of our life and we shouldn’t ever let someone else hold the pen.

I think too often we were told a story

A story about what we could and couldn’t do so we didn’t even try to reach beyond that. But what I am saying is fuck that story. Today is a blank page. Get to writing. Listen to podcasts, YouTube videos, audiobooks. Let others pump you up. And cheer other people on.

There are days in my life still to this day where I feel like I can’t take anymore. And there is a little voice in the back of my head, the cheerleader, that says “If you can’t take anymore, then why don’t you try GIVING”

That little voice, my little cheerleader, has been doing push-ups and sit-ups while I have been feeding myself physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and hell even financially. And I didn’t even really have to try. That cheerleader develops right alongside me. And fights the shit talker that is there too.

The better I feed myself the stronger the cheerleader gets and the weaker the shit talker is.

If you would like to feed your mind, check out the resource page >here< 

The booklist is phenomenal! And there are a handful of other resources that can be helpful.